10th August 2011 was the date I started on my emotional roller coaster. But before all that a brief history:
Having had pains in my breasts for quite a long while I decided an appointment with my doc was needed. Also as I had no clue how to check my breasts for lumps properly and having "lumpy" boobs I wasn't really sure if mine were normal or not. So I thought I'd ask her to show me the right way to do it.
Dr Duncan was great, she assured me mine were normal and that she felt the pain was just duct pains and again quite normal. She asked to see me again in a month to see if the pain was related to menstrual changes that occur in the breast, she also recommended evening primrose oil & off I went.
Having reassured me she wasn't concerned with the symptoms I presented with I felt quite relaxed about the whole thing. A month later I saw her again and still having the intermittent pains she felt a consult at Royal Lancaster Infirmary’s (RLI) breast clinic should be the next step. Again she reassured me everything was fine and that this was in no way an urgent appointment.
And so to 10th August 2011…
The only people I told about the appointment was my best friend Rachel, Ashia my good pal from Uni & Pauline my workplace co-ordinator in RLI operating theatres. I didn't see the need to tell anyone else as it was just a routine hospital appointment. As I sat in the breast clinic waiting room I realised I was the only person to have gone in alone. You get an enormous sense of the importance that clinic holds just sitting in the waiting room. The ladies and guys who go there essentially for tests that could change their lives forever. I sat quite distracted playing of all things Tiny Tower on my phone whilst I waited to be called through "Those Doors". I can remember sending messages to Rachel & Ashia saying "still waiting" as time creeped ever slowly onwards.
"Katherine Begg" the girl called. My heart skipped, it was my turn now! Regrettably I don't know the name of this lady but she explained that instead of speaking to Mr P first I would instead be having an X-ray and scan done first so all bases were covered before I went in.
Oh God the dreaded mammogram machine, I just thought "this is gonna hurt". To my surprise it didn't, the lady was really supportive throughout but I really did feel I was wasting their time. I hadn't got a breast lump, I only had these pains?! I got dressed and walked back to the reception for another wait for the next scan. A nurse called my name and took me through for an ultra sound scan of my breasts, introduced me to the Doctor (again sadly his name escapes me but the way he chatted made me feel quite comfortable & supported).
Baring my boobs he proceeded to scan them and explained to me throughout what he was doing. I did feel quite sore with this one as he did apply some pressure as he explored the deeper tissue. Being the nosy sod I am I watched the monitor as he scanned my right breast. It brought back happy memories of my scans when pregnant. However all that changed when that black circular shadow appeared on the screen. And he started to click the markers on the screen. He was measuring it!! SHIT (my brain was racing! But I didn't have a lump? what is that?)
He started to scan the left breast but in no time at all he had finished and returned to the right breast. "Erm, hang on Mr how come you've finished the left one already & why have you gone back to that black spot?" were the thoughts racing through my head, I knew this wasn't right and I looked away from the screen now, tears welled up in my eyes. No matter how hard I tried to stop those damn tears they just kept rolling down my face!
"We've found a small mass in your breast" he explained gently. I just sobbed!!
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